i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize