Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
