a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
