I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have demons in me.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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