just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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