Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
