It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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