He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
