just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
