I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
