Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
