just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
