You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
