I will die if light touches me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
