I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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