Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
