I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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