The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dear god my vagina.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
