he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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