I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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