Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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