Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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