i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.