Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!