Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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