Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
