There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
one might say we're banned from that church
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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