i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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