Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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