life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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