physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
