and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
