I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
