$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
