he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
