just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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