sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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