To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
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I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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