Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Houston, we have a blender
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I will be naked everywhere
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
