i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
