why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
