I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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