after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize