Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
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The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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