Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
