Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
