Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The ass gains better be worth it
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