yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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