i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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