So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
