WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
