your parents love me but you hate me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
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I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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