i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You need a sexual gate keeper
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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