I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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