awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
