Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
