In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
